Kitty Stikes Schwarz
by Air Guardian
Summary: The little girl's back to terrorize Schwarz this time. Can they survive this little cottonball, sweet, and naive, yet purely deadly child of five? (SchuxBrad, OmixNagi/NagixOmi)
1. Farfie's Great Adventure

Kitty Strikes Schwarz

~isabelle

[[Sequel to Kitty Hazard?]]

Isabelle: *shakes her head* Nope. Just some random screw up torture anime bishounen fic with Tracy/Kitty squeezed in somewhere. I might squeeze in a little Schuschu and Bradley drama though.

[[Howwonderful.]]

Isabelle: Do I detect scarcasm?

[[Get me an asprin fast!]]

Disclaimer: Don't own Weiss Kreuzdon't even know who does own Weiss

Warnings: Schuldich/Crawford, Nagi/Omi, pointlessness

~*~

For those who care: How did Kitty get back? Well, in the Beyond, one of the technicians *mutterAuramutter* was conducting an experiment when it suddenly backfired just as Tracy walked in. Fate's a fickle bitch, eh?

~*~

****

Chapter One

Farfie's Great Adventure

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Schuldich's scream from the hallway. Crawford's eyebrow twitched as he tried to consentrate on what he was typing.

"BRADLEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! WE HAVE TROUBLE!!!"

"Shut up Schuldich!" He sighed. He hadn't seen Schuldich screaming in his visions. In fact, he hadn't seen anything for a while. Which was strange "AND DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

The German ignored him. "NAGI! COME FAST!"

"Whaa" came the teenager's lazy reply.

Silence.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! CRAWFORD!!!"

That was Nagi's voice.

Crawford slammed down the lid of his laptop and stalked into the hallway. He saw Schuldich and Nagi, pressed along the wall, their faces staring into the kitchen.

The Amercian just walked in front of them.

And stared.

A question leaped out of his throat, just barely.

"Where's Farfarello?"

The Irish man began to whistle to himself as innocently as he could get. He glanced around at the park, noticing things he had never noticed before.

Perhaps it was because Schuldich was always complaining and Nagi was always whining and Crawford was always yelling that distracted him from these sights.

Well, people.

Children.

They were laughing, having fun. So much fun. And fun was God.

He had to hurt God.

Muttering to himself evilly, Farfie seeked out for a child who was alone.

However, he saw none. All the children were with their families or at least, with an adult.

It never occurred to Farfarello that those adults were there to guard against people like him, insane pshycopaths that wanted to hurt God.

Then he saw her.

She was sitting on a bench in silence, licking her ice cream. Her face wore the expression of confusion, yet it seemed pleased.

Maybe it was the food.

There were no adults in sight.

"Revenge is sweet," Farfie muttered, smacking his lips while drawing a knife in his hand. "Revenge is very sweet." He drew back his hand to throw the knife.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FARFARELLO TORE OPEN THE STRAIGHT JACKET!?!?"

"I mean, Farfie tore it open," Schuldich replied calmly.

Crawford took several deep breaths.

Nagi was panicking. "What if he kills some one? What if they trace it back to us? What if they find out who we REALLY are? What if they take me away? NOOO!! I'm too young for this!!"

"Nagi," Schuldich stated flatly. "Shut up."

The youngest member just glared at him.

He blinked. How the

Farfie flung the knife alright.

The kid's hand flew to the side of her face and caught the blade between two fingers. She froze and stopped, licking the ice cream, midway.

The Irish man froze. Then, he smiled. "This kid would hurt God."

The girl turned to face him. Or, at least, where he was hiding.

"Who are you?" she asked, yet her voice betrayed no fear, just curiousity.

Farfarello stepped out of the woods, a huge grin on his face. "I am Farfarello, the man who will one day kill God. And youwill be my apprentice."

The girl blinked at the insane Irish man a few times. She dropped the knife. "Oniisan? Would you like some ice cream too?"

"We can't call the police," Crawford mumbled, pacing around.

"Braaadley" Schuldich drawled out. "Will you quit thinking so hard? It's giving me a headache."

Crawford stopped in midstep and turned around and glared at the German.

Schu gave him his most sexy smile and moved towards the American, swaying his hips gently. "Let me comfort you," he whispered in his ear.

Crawford just glared but made no move to push Schuldich away.

The red-head smirked.

"Would you quit trying to seduce Crawford at a time like this?" Nagi nearly shouted, his telekinesis threatening to throw Schuldich against the wall. "WE NEED TO GET FARFARELLO NOW!!"

The German sighed and walked away from hiskoi. He flopped down on the couch and stared lazily at the ceiling. "Alright, what do we do? Search Japan?"

"For me?"

The three members of Schwartz whirled around.

There stood Farfarello with a sickening look on his face. His hand was placed on a little girl's shoulder.

The other three members blinked.

"Great," Nagi nearly squeaked. "Now he's kidnapping. I am so doomed."

Farfie didn't hear him. He was too busy being pleased with himself. "Meet Kitty. She's going to help me hurt god."

The gazes droppedand dropped and (SHE'S NOT THAT SHORT!!) ermstayed.

Kitty met everyone one of their eyes and blinked innocently. She then turned back to Farfarello. "Farfarello-niisan, what exactly am I doing here?"


	2. Babysitters

Kitty Strikes Schwarz

****

AN: Uh, just a little side note. If anyone here read School Project Schwarz, a scene at the end will seem a little familiar. Aw come on, it was funny! Admit it! ....okay, never mind, just read...****

Chapter Two

Babysitters

There was complete silence.

"You," Farfie said," are gonna help me kill God."

Kitty blinked, as if trying to remember something. But failed. "God? How"

"FARFARELLO," Crawford yelled. "Where have you been?"

"I took a walk in the park."

Silence again.

"The park," Schuldich asked flatly.

"Un-huh."

Crawford turned to Nagi. "Nagi, you're the youngest here. Talk to her. Get some answers."

Nagi eyed Farfie first. He was quite sure he wanted to be near Farfie before the insane dude took his medication.

Farfie didn't say anything but started whislting. That drew more stares. "If anyone wants me, I'll be playing with the onion peeler."

No one said a word other than watch him walk into the kitchen.

"We need a lock for the kitchen," Crawford said, to no one really.

Nagi turned to Kitty. In his gentlest voice, he asked, "What's your name?"

"Kitty."

He waited for a last name.

He didn't get one.

Giving up, he added, "Kitty, when you get home, don't tell your parents about me. PLEASE. I don't want to get kicked out of high school and into jail and oh my god" Nagi started hyperventilating.

"Nagi," Crawford's voice hissed with an edge to it.

The youngest member of Schwarz became quiet for a second. "Whereare you from?"

The little girl sighed. "I'm not sure. I don't remember anything."

Nagi blinked slowly. "Crawford"

"What?"

"The kid has amnesia. She doesn't remember a thing about where she came from."

"" Silence came from Crawford. The American couldn't seem to decide if this was a good or bad thing. Finally, deciding that it would be best to phone their boss for directions, he stalked toward the phone in the other room.

Schuldich watched him leave, then turning to Kitty. "I'll search her mind for her," he drawled out. Actually, he was curious since he knew Farfie wouldn't just choose anyone to become hisapprentice.

Focusing his mind on her'she suddenly realized something. "It'sblank," he studdered.

"What?" Nagi asked, some what in a tone of unbelief.

"It's blank. Her mind is totally blank other than what happened in the park," the German stated.

"What happened in the park?"

He told Nagi about the knife incident.

Nagi just stared back.

"Fine," Schuldich snapped. "Don't believe me!"

Nagi sweatdropped. "I believe you. I think."

Crawford came back in. "I swearI didn't even see this coming" he muttered to himself, over and over again. "All right," he began once he got everyone's attention. "Estet said we're to keep Kitty under careful watch until further notice."

Schuldich's eyes widened, preventing Crawford from saying more. "WHAT!?!? A KID UNDER THE SAME ROOF AS ME??!?! CAREFUL WATCH!?!? WHAT DOES ESTET THINK I AM?!!? A BABYSITTER!?!?"

"Schuldich" Crawford began in a low, silky tone.

But the German didn't hear him. He was busy panicking. "Oh my god, I can't even make out with you at the table. Hell, I can't even make out with you at night! What will the kid think? I mean, she'll think I'm a sick, corrupted—" He stopped, mid-sentence, noticing something. "Wait, I AM sick and corrupted and damn proud."

Nagi rolled his eyes.

Crawford's forehead began lining up with notches. "Introduce yourselves. Get comfortable. She'll be here for a while." With that last thought, he walked out the room rather quickly, slamming the door behind him.

"The stick just went up another few inches."

"I wonder who has a bigger stick," Nagi drawled out. "Aya or Crawford."

Schuldich raised an eyebrow at the teenager. "Want me to find out?"

"WHAT??!!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He turned to Kitty who looked a bit confused and disturbed. "Okay, kid, now that we're living in the same house, we might as well get used to each other. I'm Schuldich."

"Shoe ditch?"

The German's eyebrow twitched as Nagi snickered. Schu glared at him.

"NoSchuldich. Pronouce after me. Schul. Dich."

"Schuldick?"

Total silence.

Nagi fell on the floor laughing his ass off. Schuldich even snickered at that. "Dirty mind for a kid eh? I like that. Wish Crawford would call me that." Suddenly, an evil glint lit up in his eye. "HeyKitty, sweety. Would you do me a favor?"

Crawford looked up from his laptop when he saw Kitty enter. "What?"

The girl didn't answer at first, not until she got right beside up Crawford. Then, she looked up and into his eyes. "Niisan, Schuldick wants you up in his bedroom so he can remove the stick up your ass. He wants to compare it with another stick up another ass of another guy called Aya or something."

There was silence. Much twitching was going on above Crawford's eyebrows.

"SCHULDICH!!!!"

~*~

[[O_O OMFG. People are actually reading this. *GRIN* I could plug on this fic! Advertise! Read my blog http://icixka-]]

Isabelle: *shoves her altered ego into a little box* Shut up. My fic. -_-;;


	3. In Training

Kitty Strikes Schwarz

Chapter Three

In Training

"Wake up, wake up."

Sleeping in the guest bedroom, Kitty's slumber was interrupted by some one shaking her awake. Rubbing her eyes, she asked what most normal people who ask that early in the morning. "Uh?"

"I have to start your training." It was Farfie that was doing all the shaking. His voice was pretty normal but he had an insane edge to his voice.

"But, Farfie-niisan, it's only five in the morning." She added a yawn to that.

"Sleeping too much helps God. I want to see you in the kitchen by 5:30." With that, he left Kitty alone to figure out what just happened.

The little kid stumbled out of bed, tripping over various objects in the dark while trying to get to the bathroom. Finally, standing on her toes, she managed to flip on the lights.

"EEEK!" She shrieked as she realized she was in the wrong room. Turning off the lights, she nearly flew out of there and to the right room in less than a second.

"Huh?" Crawford muttered, as he rubbed his eyes. The oracle could have sworn some one screamed.

"HmBradley, I'll make ya feel good," Schuldich purred in his sleep while snuggly next to his lover.

Crawford wasn't exactly sure if Schuschu's dirty dreams about him was a good thing or a bad thing. Oh well. It was too early to think anyway. The oracle drifted off back into sleep.

"What are they doing in the kitchen?" Nagi asked, his kawaii eyes wide open. The teen stared at the closed kitchen door, locked in the inside. True, he could pick the lock easily, but frankly, he was afraid too.

The sound of something whirling and metal crunching came through.

Schulduch pouted. "I don't care what they're doing. But they're in the way of me and my Pocky.

"You mean, MY Pocky."

"Hell no, that Pocky is ALL mine."

"I was the one who BOUGHT that Pocky!"

"And I am the one who's gonna use it as a sex toy tonight!" Schuldich shouted back.

Nagi blinked. "Never mind. That Pocky is all yours now."

Meanwhile, behind the doors

"and this is a double-edged knife," Farfie proudly said as he presented it to Kitty. Where he got it I don't know. I don't want to know.

Kitty tilted her head to one side as she seem to study the knife. "Niisan, are we going to drop in the blender with the cheese grater and butcher knife?"

Farfie beamed. She was learning! "Of course," he said as he dropped it into the blender which was now full of little sharp objects. The clicking and banging noise of metal being chopped up got louder and louder. "Noise hurts God."

Because of the fact that there was no lid to this blender, a sharp edge of probably the cheese grater flew out and gazed Kitty across the cheek. The kid didn't flinch. Kitty's hand rose and slowly whipped the blood that was starting to drip down her face. "Niisan, may I have a Band-Aid?"

Farfie frowned. He wasn't too sure about that. "You may have a paper towel," he finally decided, giving it to her to press against the cut.

There was a clicking from the lock and the door flew open with Schuldich and Nagi standing there, staring.

Nagi's eye found the cut. "FARFIE! You child molester!"

The telepath eyed him wearily. "Nagi, we must talk about that mind of yours one day." He was already getting very disturbing images in his mind.

Farfie cackled. "No, I would never do that to my apprentice. However, to another child, that's not a bad idea"

Nagi sweatdropped, wishing he hadn't opened his mouth so soon. He walked up to Kitty, who was once again staring with those huge innocent eyes of hers, and floated a Band-Aid to his hand. However, when he looked back, the cut was almost healed. Nagi blinked. "What happened?"

Kitty felt for blood, but got nothing. "I think I heal fast," she simply stated. "I remember that once I" Her nose wrinkled up. "NoI can't seem to remember now"

Nagi looked troubled. "Schu"

"SHADDUP! I looking for that goddamn Pocky!"

Farfie blinked. "Oh, I ate it."

Silence. The telepath froze, and mad glint in his eyes. "YouPOCKY!?!?!" He lunged for Farfie's neck.

"Schuldich!" came a sharp order from the doorway.

Schuschu stopped in mid-leap. I do not know how's that's possible, but hey, this is the anime where people get flattened daily. Ernever mind.

Crawford stood at the door with a huge box of stawberry Pocky in his hand. "I saw this problem eariler." His glasses flashed and a smirk surfaced. "I wouldn't let us be denied of our fun later on."

The telepath got starry eyes and went to go jump Crawford in the middle of the hallway. "Oh Bradley-kun, I knew you cared about me!"

However, Crawford stepped aside causing Schuldich to go crashing into the wall. "But if you don't stop calling me by my first name," he added calmly, "you're getting nothing."

Kitty turned her gaze back to Nagi. "What fun? I wanna have fun too!"

Nagi turned red and started to sputter something.

Not getting then answer she wanted, she turned to Crawford. "Can I join too?"

The oracle's normally controlled face began to color a little.

Schuldich pulled himself together and began to snicker evilly. "If she was ten years older, I'd gladly have an orgy." From the glare he received with that statement, he added, "Of course, I'm not serious."

"What's an orgy?"

"It's when three or mor—"

"SCHULDICH!" Nagi screeched. 

"I mean, Kitty, go back to playing with the blender. Bra-er, I mean, Crawford and I are going to do work now."

Crawford nodded. "Yeah, work."

They left very quickly.

"That was too close," Nagi muttered under his breath. He turned to say something to Farfie, who was playing with the vegetable knife, but decided better of it. Instead, he asked, "Do you still need Kitty?"

Farfie looked up, confused. "Kitty? Oh, my apprentice. No, her training is done for today."

Now that freaked Nagi out. For the past few days, Farfarello actually started sounding normal. "Okay. Hey, Kitty, you wanna go for a walk?"

The little child shrugged, still wondering what Crawford and Schuldich were talking about. "Sure," she answered and followed Nagi out the door.

~*~~

[[You are a sick author. A very sick author.]]   
Isabelle: Hey! Who's the one who typed up the Chaos and Tracy sex scene?!?!   
[[...well, it wasn't OOC. I mean, admit it. Crawford acted rather out of it in this chapter... And it didn't involve corrupting little kids!]]   
Isabelle: Hey, it was you who came up with the whole 'schuldick' idea in the last chapter!????


	4. Uh, No, I don't remember

Kitty Strikes Schwarz

AN: This chapter's a bit short...but don't worry...after the seventh chapter...I've noticed that they get longer... -_-;;

[[But first...I must answer this question that I got in one of my reviews...]]   
Krypt: Er... I haven't watched that much Weiss Kreuz but...is Nagi supposed to be so, i dunno, caring?   
Isabelle: *turns to altered ego* Is he?   
[[*sweatdrop* To tell you the truth, I've only seen up to episode 5...which is pretty sad. I get most of my material from profiles and other fanfics. I've seen Nagi take on almost all personalities other than the Schuldich/Youji type ones. (Unless you count those dirty dream ones in which we won't get into ^^;;) So, Nagi in this story is pretty...normal. Well, come on, look at it this way, he doesn't have much competition in being normal!]]   
Isabelle: Isn't he supposed to be cold and emotionless and depressed or something?   
[[...so I've heard.]]   
Isabelle: *takes out a pen and scribbles on a piece of poster board* *holds it up*   
Poster board: POSSIBLE OCC-NESS...?   
[[...a question mark?]]   
Isabelle: We can always get rid of it after you get the second DVD of Weiss Kreuz on your B-day.   
[[You know, it could be because Nagi just doesn't have the heart to leave Kitty alone with the others.]]   
Isabelle: ...point there. I don't even have the heart to do that.   
[[And it's for plot references.]]   
Isabelle: Would you shut up about that? Arg, people, just wait until the later chapters. She'll be ranting about plot references for hours! It's worse torture than that fic I authored in with Vegeta!  
[[...shut up...]] 

Chapter Four

Uh, No, I Don't Remember

"Why are we going to a flower shop?" Kitty suddenly asked as they headed down the street.

Nagi gave her a blank look. "Flower shop? I never said that"

The kid mirrored his puzzled expression. "But, niisan, you just said" Her nose scrunched together as if she was trying to remember something but decided against it. "Never mind"

"Are you waiting for some one?" Youji asked in an exhasperated voice, glancing up from his magazine.

"D-uh, no," Omi said back, quickly turning his attention from the window back to mopping the floor, trying to hide the blush that threatened to turn him into the walking tomato-head.

Too late. Just by the way the kitten was moving got Youji suspicious and very curious. "Do you have a date?"

Mop, mop.

"A crush?"

Mop, mop.

By this time, Youji had put down the magazine and crept close to Omi. Bending down and peering at the youngest member of Weiss, he tried to catch Omi's downcast eyes.

"Omi?"

Bonk!

Bombay whacked Balinese over the head with the stick end of the mop. "You know, it's bad enough that you mistake me for a girl DAILY, but do you have to go poking into my love life, too?" he asked in a flat voice.

Youji rubbed the top of his head. His head didn't hurt as much as his pride. "Well, you know, I feel responsible for you kid. I mean, Aya and Ken aren't exactly going to explain the birds and the bees to you. Ken probably doesn't even know what I'm talking about and Aya, well, Aya—Omi? Where are you going?"

The one mentioned was already halfway out of the door. "You can handle a few minutes by yourself, Youji-kun."

"Where are you going?"

"To meet some one."

The playboy grinned. "So you DO have a date! Wait! You want the explaination of the bees and birds first?!" 

By this time, Omi had already out of the shop. Youji was just joking, and he knew it. But the kitten wasn't in the joking mood. "No, I don't want you to explain, Youji-kun," Omi muttered under his breath. "There's no need for any warning when there are no birds' invovled."

"Ne, who are we waiting for, Nagi-niisan?" Kitty asked, swinging her legs back and forth on the bench, watching people pass by. A few girls and eldery couples pointed to the two, whispering to themselves how cute it was that an older brother was taking his younger sister out for a walk. (Even though they looked NOTHING like.) Oh well, they figured they could be half-siblings or step-siblings or something.

"A.."

"A what?"

".friend," Nagi finally got out.

"Er, okay."

She went back to staring at the flower shop. A nagging voice was tugging at the back of her head, trying to force Kitty to remember. However, the child just brushed it away as she caught the sight of an ice cream vendor. She opened her mouth and but bit her tongue before asking. Where had she heard before that what she was about to do was rude?

Suddenly, Nagi jumped up, seeming more nervous than ever. "Lets go Kitty."

"Whaaa?" The child asked, confused, as she let herself be dragged away.

"Braaadley," Schuldich purred, letting his mouth brush lightly across Crawford's bare chest. "Aren't you going to say something? The day's almost over." The redhead's hand slid down his koi's side, down to thelower reigns. (I'm not much of a lemon/lime writer. -_-;;)

The oracle glanced at Schuldich, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

The hand froze.

Brad glared at the telepath. "Aren't you going to finish?"

"Wait." This time, Schuldich's voice was no where near a purr. It wasn't the teasing and taunting voice he used around Nagi or on missions either. Instead, the telepath's voice was a mix of venom and ice, on the verge of loosing self control. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

Green eyes now glared at black ones, not the other way around. They were as sharp as daggers. Schuldich pushed himself up and got out bed.

"Hey, what are you talking about?" Brad asked, fustrated.

Slipping into a white robe, Schu yelled back, "You know very well what the fuck I'm talking about."

"No, I don't."

"Yes you do, you bastard. And I'm not talking to you until you remember!" Slamming the door behind him, the telepath left a very confused Crawford still in bed, still smelling the scent of the herbal shampoo he used last night to wash his red-orange hair. It smelled like oranges insorry, just a small burst of weird poetry in there


	5. But REALLY, I don't!

Kitty Strikes Schwarz

****

Chapter Five

But I Really Don't

It one of those computer café places, where you could order food and log online at the same time. Nagi and Kitty both slid into a light red booth, which seemed to be already taken with a plate of fries growing cold laying by the black computer.

Nagi just took a fry and popped it into his mouth.

"Uh" Kitty voiced, raising an eyebrow at Nagi.

"It's okay. You can take one," Nagi reassured her.

The child just shook her head.

And they continued to wait.

Finally [[This story makes some progress!]]

[[Must be a delayed reaction.]]

"Nagi!"

A lightly blush spread across Nagi's face as he timidly glanced the way in which his name was being called. "Hey, Omi-kun," he voiced back.

Kitty sat up, a strange jolt shooting up her spine. Omi. That name sounded so familiar.

The kitten walked into the scene with a tray of two drinks. "I thought that you might be thir—"

"Omi-kun?" Nagi questioned.

"Tr-Tr-Tra-Tracy?" Omi studdered, his face suddenly very pale. Setting the tray down on the table, he was suddenly aware that his hands were shaking and sweating cold.

"Her name is Kitty," Nagi corrected and gave him a puzzled look. "Do you know her?"

"I don't remember a Omi," Kitty said in an unsure voice. There was that little voice again, when Omi had called her by the name Tracy'.

Bombay stared at the little child for a minute or two than shook his head. On the outside, he had said: "I must have been thinking about some one else." On the inside, he was screaming: _OH MY FUCKING GOD! KITTY?!?! WHAT'S SHE DOING BACK!? IS TASHIN OUT TO KILL US AGAIN!??! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD _[[Yeah, and he goes on]].

"I hope you don't mind me taking Kitty along on thiser, um, uh, date, uh, um, erI mean, I didn't want to leave her back at the apartment with Farfarello."

"Yeah, I understand." Facing Kitty, he asked, "I can pay for your own booth if you want to surf the net."

The kid shook her head and smiled sweetly. "No thanks, Niisan, I'll be fine just watching."

There was a small pain in the kitten's heart. He still remembered that time when Kitty was staying at Kitty in the House. But she didn't remember. She didn't even remember that it was Youji who had named her Kitty'.

"Schuldich!" Crawford yelled in front of the closed door of the telepath's room. "OPEN UP!" The oracle had expected Schuldich to be mad, but this was getting out of hand. Schuldich had never missed a meal before. Of course, Schwarz wasn't the we-will-all-sit-at-the-dinner-table-and-eat' type ofer, family, but Crawford knew that Schu would usually just order something or go out. But today, the telepath had stayed in his room from morning until now, three in the afternoon.

There was more silence.

More banging on the door.

Suddenly, Farfie seemed to appear out of nowhere. "Can I join in?" he asked gleefully. "Banging on doors hurts God." There was a sickening, yet some what innocent grin on his face. (Er, that is, as innocent as Farfie gets.)

Crawford stared at him in disbelief.

The door swung open and both were faced with a Schuldich wearing only pants and a deadly glare. [[*drooooollll*]]

"Tell that person over there to stop bugging me," Schu said to Farfie, his voice dripping with ice. "I have Pocky."

Slam. There went the door again.

"Crawlie-chan, Shuldie-chan asked me to—"

"I heard, Farfarello."

"Oh, okay," Farfie replied, just as happily as he skipped downstairs.

"Oh, why must the Fates torture me like this," Crawford muttered as he banged his head against the wall.

"Something's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Something's wrong."

"Don't you have homework to do?" Crawford asked irritatedly.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong," Nagi replied sharply.

"Why do you care?"

"Because whenever you and Schuldich argue, you two some how manage to drag all of us and sometimes even the neighbors into this. Remember last time? That old lady next door threw her cat at me because she pitied Schu, lord help her, and thought I was in league with you."

""

"So, are you going to spill or not?"

Nagi and Kitty had walked in the door around five. The kid was cheerfully licking vanilla ice cream which was soon colored red with food coloring that Farfie had insisted upon. Kitty had just shrugged and resumed eating the ice cream as the insane Irish psychopath steered her away from a disgusted Nagi. The chibi then took one look at Crawford's notched up face and began firing away questions. Or commands. 

The older man scowled at the screen of the laptop and turned to face Nagi. "If you don't shut up, I'm going to shoot you."

"Does that mean you're going to tell me?"

Crawford reached inside his jacket.

"Er, I mean, I can help."

The hand paused just inches away from the gun.

Before Crawford could change this mind, Nagi added, "I mean, it's not like Farfie gonna help or anything. And neither is Kitty."

Clocks tick—no, never mind. That would sound like Crawford has a bomb in his brain. Let me rephrase that. The gears of the oracle's brain got working. "Well, I guess you could try."

Nagi's draw dropped. Far away, Aya danced to N'sync music. Ken moved like a ballerina. Omi got a math problem wrong. Youji hit on a girl of 13. Aya-chan woke up and went shopping for gernades.

CRAWFORD actually AGREED. And he said the word TRY. There was no TRY in Crawford's vocabulary.

And that was how Nagi found himself calling Schuldich on his personal phone. The telepath wouldn't open the door so there was no other way.

Four rings.

He was gonna have to leave a message.

_ You've reached Schuldich. Yes, guilty. I'm guilty of murdering your mother and poisoning your father. I'm guilty of raping your daughter and banging your son._

Pause.

Leave a message. Have a nice day.****

Beep.

"" Nagi began.


	6. Mwahaha!

Kitty Strikes Schwarz

Chapter Six

Mwahahaha!

"Okay, so that didn't work," Nagi said to Crawford the next day. The chibi had left a message of pure five minutes of silence which probably only succeeded in irritating Schuldich.

Speaking of the telepath, he still had not come out of this room unless it was for bathroom needs.

"What the hell did you say to him," Crawford asked monotonously, not looking up from his laptop once.

"Umthat's the problem. I didn't say anything."

The oracle paused in mid-type and turned his head to stare at Nagi. "What?"

"This answering message kind of scared me."

More staring.

"You listen to it!" Nagi demanded, a cordless phone shooting in his right hand as he shoved it in Crawford's face.

The oracle's glasses shin-ed dangerously.

"or maybe not," the telekinetic squeaked timidly, putting his hand down. "Maybemaybe I could try and search your mind?"

"That last time I checked, you aren't the telepath of this group."

"No, I meant, I could give examples of why Schuldich would be mad and you could try and remember if that was the reason or not."

Out came an irritated sigh. This was going to take a while. Crawford wanted to finish his work. Of course, he had already done it before, but that wasn't the point. It wasn't PERFECT before. It had to be PERFECT.

"Fine," the oracle muttered under his breath and saved his file right before turning to face Nagi.

"MWAHAHAHAHA!!" Farfie cackled. For three whole minutes. Without taking one breath.

Wow.

Suddenly, he stopped and turned to Kitty. "Now it's your turn."

"UhhMWAHAHAHAHA!!"

However, since the kid was still an amateur at this stuff, hers only lasted for two minutes.

"NowBWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

"MWAHAHA—oh wait, we already did that. Umm," Farfie thought for a second. "Combo. Listen and repeat. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!"

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Kitty held her breath a second too long and ended up in a coughing fit.

Farfie just sat there and watched her hack to death.

His look was that of a look of admiration.

"Coughing hurts God." He started to imitate her.

Huge sweatdrops rolled down Nagi's and Crawford's heads as they heard the two in the kitchen.

"What the hell" Nagi began.

Crawford's eyebrow twitched. "Who was supposed to give Farfie his medicine today?"

"Schuldich."

There was silence, save for all the coughing and hacking.

"Ohthat explains it."

The oracle shrugged. "Continue, Nagi."

"UhSchuldich's hair. Did you do something to it?"

"Unless I got seme—"

"Oooookay, I don't need to know any details"

"Ne, Farfie-niisan, what's wrong with Schuldich-niisan?" Kitty asked once she had gotten her breath back.

Cough. Hack. Cough. Hack.

"Uh, Farfie-niisan?"

"Hold on," the psychopath wheezed. His coughing and hacking continued for another five minutes before he regained his posture. A sickening grin split upon his face. "Oh, that was painful, even though I didn't feel it. Pain is good. Pain hurts God."

"about Schuldich-niisan"

A shrug. "Bradley-chan and Schuldie-chan are in a fightagain."

There was more silence.

"Farfie-niisan, is my training done for today?"

Farfie frowned. "Kitty, are you trying to worm out of—"

The kid grabbed a vegetable knife and slit her right wrist. Blood spilled upon the floor.

Farfie beamed at her. "We're done!"

"Okie," she cheerfully said, running out of the door, a trail of blood behind her.

"Hmwhat about his silk underwear?"

"How do you know about that?"

"I also do the laundry, remember? If not that, how about—HOLY SHIT!" Nagi screamed as Kitty came into sight, her right wrist and hand covered in blood.

Crawford was also some what panicking. Estet had told them to keep Kitty safe and such. What the hell did the kid do?

She blinked at him, innocently. "What?"

"YOUR WRIST!" Nagi freaked.

"Whaaa?"

"IT'S CUT!"

Kitty looked down and stared at the blood.

Crawford moved for the phone to call 911.

The kid grinned sheepishly. "Oh, that. Sorry. I forgot that I left it bleeding."

The oracle and telekinetic facefaulted.

Waving her other undamaged hand over the large cut, a soft green glow surrounded her left hand's fingertips as they brushed the blood. As Crawford and Nagi stared, the blood that was around the cut rushed back into her vein and the wound sealed up, leaving not even a scar.

All less then thirty seconds.

Crawford dropped the phone.

There was silence.

Nagi inched away from the little kid and behind Crawford. "Lord, she is scary"

The one mentioned walked over to Crawford, who was still staring at her in disbelief, and sat down on another free chair. "Ne, Crawford-niisan, I heard you and Schuldich-neesan are in a fight."

"neesan?"

Kitty laughed. "Schuldich-neesan acts like a woman having PMS."

"Where the hell did she learn that?" Nagi asked, his eyes bludging out.

That was too much. At first, it was only the shoulders shaking. Finally, the oracle broke down and started laughing hysterically.

"" came from both Nagi and Kitty.

Finally, the older man calmed down. "Yeah?"

"I can help," Kitty claimed, her eyes geaming mischievously.

"How?"

"Give me your hands." At this, she held her own two hands out. 

"Uh"

She grinned sweetly.

Nagi sighed. He grabbed Crawford's wrists with his mind and placed in Kitty's grasp.

She clutched onto them tightly, tighter than either would have expected for a girl her size. In fact, the oracle could hardly feel his fingers after a while.

Closing her eyes, Kitty seemed to be in a trance.

After about five minutes, the black orbs opened. A huge, sickenly sweet grin broke over her face. "Ne, it's obvious, Crawford-niisan. You forgot your anniversary."

"..oh shit"

Nagi buried his head into his hands. "Why didn't I think of that?"

If possible, Crawford's face became even paler. "She's right. Crap. What do I do?"

Her smile got even wider. "Buy Schuldich-neesan flowers! MWAHAHAHA!"


	7. I Have Sexier Legs Than You

Kitty Strikes Schwarz

Chapter Seven

I Have Sexier Legs Than You

"Oh, what's this?" Farfie suddenly asked himself as he found a huge brush filled with red-orange hair beneath the couch. What he was doing under there, I don't know. Pulling it out, and sneezing while at it, he said, to himself once again, "It must belong to Schuldie-chan." Insert a small cackle. "I MUST return it to him."

I don't know why he had to. But for the sake of this plot, he had to return it.

Knock, knock.

No answer.

"Oi, Schuldich!" Farfie chirped merrily.

No answer.

It could be that he had sneaked out the window and was high somewhere halfway across the city.

Or it could be that he just didn't want to answer because Farfie was acting merry'.

Or it could have been that he was in the bathroom. The door was locked and there was a faint amount of steam coming from the bottom of the door.

"Hmm" Farfie drew out one of his knives and began picking the lock. "I MUST get this brush back to him."

The visions came again.

Kitty blinked them away and realized that she had been splashing in the water and getting it over the side. The kid had been taking a bath when suddenly, she was in some other place. A palace. Right? Or a really rich mansion. A really BIG one.

Watching the rubber ducky float from one side of the tub to the other, Kitty tried to remember where she was before Farfie had found her.

Flash.

The palace again.

Flash.

A woman with aqua green hair. She looked panicked.

Flash.

Her name was Aura, right?

Flash.

Memories flooded her mind, so fast that it almost seemed painful.

Flash.

"I remember," Kitty whispered to herself.

Flash.

She was back in the tub. "I remember," she repeated. Suddenly, there was a large splash again. Kitty looked around, alarmed. She had not waved her hands orwait a secondsomething seemed different.

Looking down, the kid realized something.

She wasn't a kid anymore.

More like 19.

And there was some one picking at the lock that very moment.

The knob suddenly twisted open and Farfie blinked in surprise. Maybe Schuldich had heard him?

The door swung open and a woman looking very much like an older version of Kitty stood there, wrapped in a towel. "What are you doing?" she asked, her voice loosing all that sweetness and squeakiness.

"Looking for Schuldie-chan."

"He's not in the bathroom."

"Oh"

There was a bit of thoughtful silence from Farfie's side. He stared at the towel.

"What are you looking at?" Kitty asked suspiciously.

"The towel." Before she could ask why, Farfie lunged at her and pulled it away.

"YOU BASTARD! GIVE THAT BACK!!" Kitty freaked.

Farfie cackled evilly. "Nudity hurts God!" He was about to flee, but soon found himself cornered by his own knives. Feeling his pockets, he realized that somehow, Kitty had snatched them.

"I have fast reflexes," she explained.

Farfie grinned geefuly. "You're just like Schuldie-chan! You can read minds!"

"Not really. I just know how minds think," she muttered. "Okay, gimme back my towel."

At that exact moment, Nagi walked up the stairs and into the scene.

And took one look at a very nude and very adult Kitty.

"AHHHH!! MY POOR HOMOSEXUAL MIND!!!!!!!!"

And exited the scene very quickly.

Kitty took this distraction to her advantage and grabbed the towel before Farfie could blink. However, when Farfie did blink, he found himself being kicked down the stairs.

"AHAHAHA!! FUN! PAIN! MUCH, MUCH PAAAIIIINNN!!" the pyschopath shouted. Once he was downstairs, he flipped back up and raced upstairs. "LETS DO IT AGAIN!" he cried to himself and flung himself back down the stairs.

A huge sweatdrop rolled down Kitty's head.

Turning around, Kitty found the door shut and locked. "Oh shit," she muttered to herself. It was those type of locks that only opened up from the inside. Stupid her to not have unlocked it first then opened it.

Sighing, she picked up one of Farfie's wicked knives, sat down shivering from the cold, and started picking the lock.

Which is where Schuldich comes in. The door to the telepath's room swung open because he figured that now was a good time to take a bath since Brad was out, Nagi was doing homework, and Farfie was busy flinging himself down the stairs.

And Kitty was harmless.

Until he caught the sight of a woman in a towel on the floor picking at the bathroom door lock.

"..Kitty?" he asked in a flat voice. Stare.

She got up and cracked her knee. "Damn. Cramps. Oh, hi, Schuldich." She went back to picking at the lock.

He frowned. She was different. Well, no duh she was different. I mean, she looked about twenty now. But there was that sudden change of attitude. She seemed so muchcolder.

"What happened?"

"I grew," she replied sarcastically.

And so much more nastier.

Schuldich pouted. "You were so much sweeter when you were little."

"Yeah, well, deal."

Silence.

"What are you staring at?" she suddenly asked, turning her deathglare to face Schuldich.

"Hm" he replied thoughtfully.

"My chest?"

"No"

"My legs?"

"Hm"

"You're staring at my LEGS?!" she accused.

"WellI'm bi, but it's not because of that," Schuldich said with a shrug and a smirk. "It's because"

"yeah?"

"I have sexier legs than you do."

Kitty nearly facefaulted. "What?"

The telepath began unbuckling his pants. "Want to see?"

"WHAT?!" she shrieked and began jabbing the knife into the lock. _Open you fucking thing!_

Ahhso you do have memories now. Aw, come on. Don't be shameful that you don't have better looking legs than you.

THAT'S NOT THE POINT HERE, SCHULDICH! why are you wearing a thong?

This fine ass won't shine in all its glory if I don't.

Schuldich?

Yeah?

Pull your pants back on.

Come on. See? I DO have sexier legs than you! They're much more shapely and smooth and a much better complextion too!

Oh, SHUT UP! FOR CHRISSAKE, YOU'RE A GUY!!

So?

ARG, WHY ISN'T THIS DOOR OPENING?!?!


	8. Your Advice?

Kitty Strikes Schwarz

AN: *grumble* I know, I know. I haven't updated this fic since...since...like last year. Sorry. I got stuck in the middle of this chapter... Please review and gimme ideas. *teary eyes*

Chapter Eight

Your Advice?

"Why is it that every time this author writes a fanfic about us, one of us is always mopping the floor?" Ken grumbled as he suddenly had this huge urge to sweep.

[[That's not true!]]

Sweep, sweep.

[[It's for plot references!]]

"Yeah, then explain Omi and that mop eariler."

[[It was plot reference. Without the mop, how was he supposed to bonk Youji?]]

"Then what's this for?"

[[*cackle* You'll see soon.]]

Oookay, back to the fanfic. So, Ken began sweeping the floor. It was in the early afternoon and all the fangirls had school so the shop wasn't that crowded.

Actually, it was empty. Their last costumer left with half a ton of roses and orchids about fifteen minutes ago. He went by the name of Muraki and gave Ken the creeps by just staring at him.

The soccer player felt a bit sorry for the guy Muraki was buying them for. The silver-haired man mentioned some one by the name of Tsuzuki

Youji walked into the scene, hands tying an apron behind his back. Aya was behind the counter, counting money with a strange and very disturbing gleam in his eye.

"four hundred and eight Takatoris, four hundred and nine Takatorieshaha! Die! All of you!"

The huge coin tower that the redhead had been building was suddenly knocked down, a noise which cause Omi, who was watering near the doorway to flinch.

Suddenly, the lights dimmed.

Aya scowled and got out his katana.

The rest of Weiss stared at him.

"It's obviously the beginning of some drama," he explained and drew out his blade.

"But drama might not involve violence," Ken said some what intelligently, continuing to mop. [[*pause* *reads what she had just wrote* *laughs hysterically*]]

"Just when has THIS author written about drama and not included some blood along with it?"

"point."

Tears by X Japan flowed through the backround.

[[Okay, forget that. I want drama, but not weeping. Lets just get on with this pointless story.]]

The backround music disappeared and

Crawford entered.

DUN. DUN. DUN!!!

Ken squeaked in surprise and the mop accidently slipped on the floor, causing it to rise up on the other hand and

Well, Youji was standing right in back of him and kind of got it in the

Youji groaned and sank to the floor. "Ken, if I'm scarred from this, I'll kill you." He then promptly blacked out.

"OH MY GOD!" Ken shouted and fell down on his knees beside Youji. "YOUJI! DID I KILL YOU?!?! OH MY GOD, ARE YOU ALIVE?!?!"

[[See? I told you it had plot references.]]

Crawford sweatdropped. This was Weiss on their free time, eh?

"Crawford! SHI-NE!" Aya battle-cried and leaped over the counter and right into his face, swinging his katana around wildly.

But Crawford has already seen this and whipped out his gun.

Blade vs. pistol.

Hmmwho would winwait a minuteI'm not writing about a fight

Omi, who had also been just as surprised, swung around to stare at Crawford in disbelief. A faint flutter of panic rose in his chest. Had Crawford found out about him and NAGI!??!

The chibi suddenly realized that he was still watering. Only now, he wasn't watering the flowers anymore.

"Bombay," Crawford said flatly, still glaring at Aya, "Please turn that hose off."

"Er" Omi stared at the stream of water that was running down Crawford's five hundred dollar suit. One would wonder if Crawford had any other clothes. "Sorry. Ken-kun, could you"

"Youji, speak to me!"

"turn off the hose"

Using one hand to shut off the hose, Ken's panicked look remained on the body of Youji and his other hand remained trying to shake him awake.

"Lets get him out of here," Omi suggested. He took one of Youji's arms and motioned for Ken to get the other one. Once both got a good hold on Balinese, they dragged the unconscious man across the floor and behind the open door which swung shut.

Aya still had not stopped glaring at Crawford.

"I'm not here to fight. I need some flowers."

Glare, glare. Finally, Aya decided the Crawford was telling the truth. But still, he would not let go of that katana. "Fine. Irashaimase. What do you want?" he said, making each word sound like a death threat.

"How the hell do you keep in business?" Crawford muttered to himself.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

Aya just stood there, still wearing that oversized scowl on his bish face.

"This is gonna to sound strange—"

Aya nearly snorted. Anything normal from Schwarz was impossible.

Crawford glared at Aya, taking that has a hammer to his pride. Continuing, "I need them to show my apology for forgettinguh, something really important."

"Right. What is that?"

To Aya's satisfaction, the oracle betrayed nervousness. Ah, so it was something personal!

"Did you kill the wrong person or something?"

"No!" Crawford replied in disgust. "It's not for a funeral. It's for an anniversary."

Silence. There Crawford had said it.

Aya's face was bland. A twitch.

Quite suddenly, the redhead broke down into giggles.

"" was Crawford's reaction to Aya's reaction.

Ken chose this time to waltz into the flowershop. "Aya, I think we may need—" He caught the sight of Aya giggling. And he HEARD the sound of Aya giggling.

Flomp. He promptly fainted.

"Ken-kun!" was Omi's voice from inside. Ken's body was dragged away by the genki, yet extremely tired Bombay. Then Omi looked up and his words caught in his throat before he could arrange his words.

"CRAWFORD! YOU POISONED AYA!"

"No, I did—"

"You DID!" Omi wailed, not letting Crawford finish. "I'm so sorry!" The bishounen ran to the oracle, getting a little clingy. "I didn't mean to seduce Nagi!"

Crawford stared at Omi, who was clinging onto his sleeve. "You what?"

Aya stopped giggling immediately. "You what?"

Omi stopped clinging and looked around, frozen. "You meanyou aren't poisoned, Aya-kun?"

"No."

"But you were giggling!"

"Hn."

Omi slowly back away from Crawford. "I didn't mean seduce...," he said quietly and nearly flew out of the flower shop.

The red-haired assasin snarled like a leopard and jumped onto his feet. Swinging his katana in Crawford's face, he growled, "How dare you Schwarz bastards pollute our Omi's mind!"

However, Crawford was just as angry as Aya. "US?! Bombay obviously hinted that it was HIM who made a move first!"

Hence, the rest of the conversation.

Three hours later, Ken entered the flower shop only to see both Aya and Crawford knocked out on the floor. From the bruises imprinted on the red-head's pale skin and from the slashes that had shredded the oracle's suit, Ken guessed pretty well what had happened.

Oi yeah. And Youji. Who was restrained by his own wire. Ken had tied him up on a chair with his hands behind his back in fear of Balinese whooping his ass to the moon.

Sighing, Ken remembered what Crawford had said eariler. An annversairy? The oracle must have been pretty desparate to buy flowers. He wondered just what had promoted Crawford to actually consider the idea Either way, Ken felt slightly sorry for him.

But only slightly.

Taking a bouquet of red and white roses from the shelf, he knelt down beside Crawford. Shaking the oracle awake, he shoved the flowers in his face.

"Come on, get up," Ken said.

Crawford grumbled something that sounded like a string of English curses. He stared at the bouquet.

"Pay for this and leave without any more trouble. Okay?" Ken cocked an eyebrow.

By now, the oracle was too tired and exhasperated to care. Reaching for his glasses, he put them on. "How much?"

Ken secretly grinned evilly.

In the stillness of the night, there was a sudden HOW MUCH!??!'.


	9. Bubble Tea

Kitty Strikes Schwarz****

[[OMG. I just watched the last episode of Weiss Kreuz. O__O I think I'm gonnaI'm gonna]]   
Isabelle: cry?   
[[ *silence* I DON'T CRY!]]   
Isabelle: *grumble* Suuure. That's what they all say****

Chapter Nine

Bubble Tea

"BonJOUR Honey!" Farfie chirped as he opened the door.

The Irish psychopath faced an extremely beaten and tattered oracle who was just about to insert the key.

"May I take your order?"

Crawford blinked. He sweatdropped. "Schuldich forgot to give you your pills again, didn't he?"

"Nudity hurts God."

The oracle blinked again. Since when had Farfie become random? Sighing in irritation, he pushed past Farfarello with the banquet of roses in his right hand, clutched tightly.

First thing: to find Schuldich and apologize. True, it was against Crawford's moral to apologize to anyonebut perhaps he really did love that blasted telepath

Gah, who was he kidding?

But staring at the roses, Crawford couldn't help but feeling a sense of helplessness. Hell. He really did want Schuldich back, didn't he?

"Don't bump into the wall," came a dull voice from the couch.

The oracle stopped himself soon enough to prevent doing just what he was warned against. That was strange. He didn't recongize this voice. A woman, though her vocal cords were a bit deep.

Turning around, he nearly facefaulted.

Kitty grumbled something.

"What happened to you?"

"Schuldich is upstairs."

"Why are you What HOW"

The fact that she was grown up was only part of the shock. The fact that she was wearing HIS clothes was what was causing him a heart attack

"THOSE ARE MY CLOTHES!" Crawford screeched.

"Lovely observation," Kitty pointed out. She raised an eyebrow. "Lets put it this way. Schuldich is in his room and I am not going anywhere NEAR that freak, no matter HOW much you pay me. Nagi's clothes don't fit me and I think Farfarello is trying to molest me."

"" Well, the answer wasn't exactly suprising. But STILL. Those were HIS CLOTHES. "Couldn't you go out and buy some clothes?" A rather sharp tone he used.

Kitty matched his deathglare with her infamous deathglare. "Would you like to give me some money?"

There was a long silence.

The girl blinked after a while. That was strange. Agitation and anger had been vibrating from Crawford's eyes before, but now those dark irises had gone strangely blank. What had UNLESS

Throwing a pillow into Crawford's, she muttered, "Snap out of it."

The oracle scowled, but was secretly grateful about the whole pillow throwing business. Truth was, he never had a vision that lasted that long before. Taking his glasses off with the hand that still held the flowers, he rubbed the area between the eyes and on top of the nose in which the authoress so conviently forgot the name of -__-;

"What did you see?" Kitty asked softly.

Crawford looked up. "I saw Schuldich" he began, talking to the wall.

"PUT YOUR GLASSES ON!" Kitty snarled, throwing another pillow at the oracle.

"Hello, grasshopper."

Nagi opened his eyes, jolting awake.

Only to find a very merry looking Farfie staring down at him.

"AAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

"Very good, grasshopper," the pscyhopath replied in a thick, Chinese accent. Where he learned how to imitate the Chinese, I dunno. Don't come after me with knives. I'm Chinese myself.

And then, quite suddenly, Farfie found himself engraved in the ceiling.

Breath in, breath out, the blue-eyed telekinetic ordered himself over and over again as he lowered Farfie onto the ground, still keeping an eye out for any sudden movements. Only then did Nagi feel the pain on the top of his head. Reaching up, he felt the texture of bandages.

"What happened?"

"Nagi see Kitty. Nagi go weeeee! Nagi go boom into the wall," Farfie said with a suspicious smile and loosing all his accent. With any normal person, that would have sounded so cute. With Farfie, it sounded like a room with Aya, Takatori, and a bunch of bazookas.

Wincing, Nagi felt his head gently again. That last incident with Kitty had given him a fright. 

"Did Kitty really grow or was I dreaming?"

"You were dreaming."

"Really?"

"No."

Nagi facefaulted. Oh well. Next question. "Where's Crawford? And Schuldich?"

Farfie shrugged. "Crawford's talking to Kitty and Schuldie-chan is in his room."

The telekenic stared. Oh my freaking lords. Farfie actually strung a normal sentence together. Without his medication.

Minus the Schuldie-chan' part, that is.

Down the hall, they heard a woman scream "PUT ON YOUR GLASSES!!"

Swinging off the kitchen table—wait a minute.

Nagi turned around, half way to the door before realizing he had been on the kitchen table. "Farfie, why did you put me on the table?"

The Irish man cracked a sinister grin. "Because I am your father, Luke."

Silence.

Nagi made a 180 degree turn and headed straight out the door.

He didn't know exactly what motivated him to do it. I mean, he wasn't the type to spill out the situation and his inner emotions. He was Mr. Stick-up-my-ass. Mr. I-am-such-a-bad-ass.

But something about Kitty, something besides the sarcasm, the cold-heartness, the sadistic-ness, screamed TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.'

Reminder to Crawford: Never let Kitty stay too long with Farfie.

"I guess I wasn't kidding when I said Schuldich acted like a woman," Kitty mused. "Only a woman would care about an anniversary." She took a sip of her mocha bubble tea.

Crawford blinked. He had been so asorbed in "How did you do that," he hissed.

The teenager blinked, finding the barrel of a loaded gun pointed directly in her face. "Do what?"

"Make me tell you all that. And get that bubble tea."

"I'm a very talented person," Kitty replied, trying to act innocent.

There was a long pause. Insert the sound of rapid footsteps and we have Nagi running into the scene.

"Eszett told us to protect her," Nagi said, swallowing.

Crawford stared straight into Kitty's black eyes and for the first time, he noticed just how disturbing they were. Finally, he removed his gun.

The girl continued drinking and chewing on the black pearls.

Standing up, Crawford picked up the roses and left without another word.

"What did you do to him?" Nagi asked.

Kitty shrugged. "Nothing."

Nagi stared.

"Hey! I don't lie!"

"That's what Schuldich said once. He lied like there was no tomorrow."

"You're comparing me with SCHULDICH!?"

Silence. "You have a point," Nagi grumbled as he revaluated the whole problem.

"You got Crawford to talk before," Kitty pointed out. "So why shouldn't he talk now?"

"Crawford doesn't talk about his feelings. At all. The fact that him and Schuldich are in a fight does not include his personal feelings."

Shrugging again, Kitty shook her empty cup.

Which filled up again.

There was a whirl of motion.

"Nagi, you can come out from the back of the couch now," the teenager said dryly.

"You're a demon," the chibi whispered hoarsely.

"Demon?" Farfie chirped. "Demons hurt God."

Kitty sighed. "Speak for yourself, Nagi. Who's the one who can float things?"

"You're going against the Laws of Conservation!"

"Breaking rules hurt God. OBEY YOUR THIRST!!"

Two pairs of bewildered eyes turned Farfie's way.

"Nike. Just do it."

"I think he's been watching too much TV," Nagi said blankly.

It was now or never.

Or, at least, about an hour later.

Crawford raised his left hand to knock and

"Go away. I don't want your fucking flowers," Schuldich snarled.

And then Crawford just snapped.

Nagi, Farfie, and Kitty all winced as WWIII started.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH TO GET THESE FLOWERS?!"

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

"YOU'RE MY DAMN PROBLEM!!"

"WELL, IF THAT'S IT, THEN I NEVER WANT YOU BACK!!"

"I DON'T GODDAMN CARE, CRAWFORD! I DON'T WANT YOU BACK EITHER! I CAN JUST GO FUCK BALINESE INSTEAD!!"

Nagi buried his head under the pillow. "I shouldn't be hearing this"

Farfie cackled to himself, stole Kitty's bubble tea, and then ran away like Little Red Riding Hood. Oo;;

However, Kitty barely noticed anything. She just toyed with the ends of the pillow, her dark eyes heavy.

Crawford. Schuldich had called him Crawford.

Not Bradley.

This may be worse that it seems


	10. Depressing Situation

_Kitty Strikes Schwarz_

**Chapter Ten **

**Depressing Situation**

Isabelle: I'm going to plug for some one else's fic here. If you like Yugioh and yaoi, go read Fairydust by Pikachumaniac. *hearts* It's gotta by one of the best Yugioh fics I've ever read. In fact, it almost inspires me to write my own…

[[*whackes her with a meat cleaver* HEY! Finish THIS fic first! ]]

Isabelle: But—WAIT A MINUTE. *narrows eyes* Is that MY meat cleaver?!?!

[[….*sweatdrops* *shoves her alter, screaming ego into a box* This chapter is probably gonna suck. -_-; Thing is, I have midterms next week and my humor is sucked dry…]]

Isabelle: *muffled voice* What humor?

[[….. *tapes up box and ships it to North Korea*… XD]]

The receptionist looked up, adjusting her glasses with two fingers. "May I help you?" she asked politely to the young man. If she had been any younger, she would have looked him over.

"I'm here to see…"

"Go away."

Kitty pushed the door open anyway.

Schuldich sat straight up on his bed. Throwing the girl a nasty look, he snarled, "You know what you're like? You're like a blister. A sore. An annoying little bitch who doesn't know when to stop sticking her fucking nose into another's business. So get the fuck out of my room."

Kitty, undaunted, flat out asked, "What's up?" in a really dry voice.

Silence

"I DON'T KNOW," Schuldich wailed and flopped back down on the bed.

Farfie eyed the bottom of the plastic cup carefully. It was transparent so he could see all those little black gel pearls.

Interesting…

Opening the top of the plastic cup up (it was like one of those plastic things that slushies come in…in case you've never had bubble tea before), he poked a wicked knife inside and speared a pearl.

Licking his lips, he leaned over and…

"Stop," Nagi said, irritated.

Farfie zoomed the pearl up and down, left and right, in front of Nagi's face. The telekenetic was trying to cencentrate on a school report. Julius Caesar. WHY Shakespeare, WHY?! Needless to say, he hated the play. And hell, I'm rhymthing.

Nagi narrowed his eyes. The pearl shot off the dagger and into Farfie's forehead.

The pyschopath just simply shrugged. Who cared. Yes, who cared when there were one, two, three—AT LEAST TWENTY more pearls left to play with. And a chibi to annoy to death. Spearing another bubble, Farfie resumed his mission in life.

Nagi gritted his teeth. This was going to be a long day.

Damn. Where was Crawford where you needed him?

"…and I don't even know why I bother. I mean, he's such an asshole, so stubborn, but so damn sexy…"

Kitty sighed and buried her head into her hands. Listening to Schuldich was like trying to listen to Catholic priests who had molested children. He contridicted himself at least twenty times in the past ten minutes. [[*gets mauled by religious people*]]

"Schuldich?"

The telepath just simply cut off what he had been saying and whipped his head around to face Kitty. "Yo, you remember where you came from?"

Kitty blinked. How random… "Yes, why?"

"You have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Is he cute?"

"Yeah."

"Can I fuck him?"

"NO!!!!!" the girl screamed.

My Catholic priest analogy wasn't that off.

Where could he go now that he was kicked out? Crawford cursed under his breath, taking his glasses off and rubbing the space between his eyes in anger. Damn Schuldich for being such a stubborn bastard. Did that telepath really expect him to remember the first time they screwed?

Plus, Schuldich had an anniversary for everything.

Crawford knew that he should have taken that vision to be a warning. It was had been so brief and…and… Well, the oracle wasn't quite sure just WHY he went through that whole ordeal.

Did he really love Schuldich?

The black-haired man scowled. Gimme a break. Love was a waste of time.

He looked some what out of place, sitting on a bench across from the police building in his working clothes. It was one of those back-to-back benches, the other bench faced the other side and the ocean.

The oracle was not in the mood to see something glittery, sparkling, and ROMANTIC.

Another vision interrupted his thoughts. Blurred, this time. Golden eyes?

"Nice day, ne?"

Crawford nearly jumped out of his skin, which was shockingly surprising to say for the oracle. What was with people these days…interrupting his visions…there had to be some law against it or something.

Never mind the fact that he was probably the only oracle on this side of the globe.

Turning around and adjusting his glasses, he saw…well…he saw golden eyes at first.

Well, that was quick.

Crawford shrugged an answer back, a generous response, considering who we're dealing with here.

"So, what are you doing here?"

Now Crawford felt irritation rise. Just who did this sonofabitch thing he was? The oracle had this sudden urge the lodge a metal slug into this man's brain.

Then again, this sonofabitch could hardly be called a man. He seemed barely over the age of twenty, though he was dressed like Crawford: a black business suit.

"What do you want?" Mr. Stick-waaayyyy-up-his-ass snapped.

The man…boy…guy…whatever was not at all daunted. He just smiled, rather dryly, up ahead at the police building, not looking at Crawford. "Just wondering why kind of people sit on benches in front of traffic at this time. Shouldn't they be heading home?"

"What's your point?" Nerves began to fray.

"My little sister seems to have been kidnapped," the golden-eyed man drawed out. "Now…what should I worry about?"

It slowly dawned Crawford just what he was being accused of. "You asshole…"

Shaking his head slowly, still wearing that infuriating smile, the man…boy…ARG…never mind…START OVER: The man got up from the seat and walked away, his hands in his pockets.

Crawford buried his face into his hands. THIS WAS NOT HAPPENING.

"DO I MAKE YOU HORNY!?" Farfie screamed with glee.

The TV promptly blew up.

An eyebrow-twitching chibi stood there.

"Do I?" Farfie asked Nagi, a trace of hope in his voice.

"You wish," Nagi grumbled. "Eszett gave us a mission."

"To find horny people?"

"NO!" Nagi took in deep breaths to calm himself. Eesh. No wonder Crawford was always so uptight. Everyone could be so fustrating sometimes. Most of the time. Always. Whatever.

"Do I get to come along?"

Glancing back, Nagi raised an eyebrow at Kitty. "Eszett never said anything about you."

"I might be of some help," Kitty answered indifferently, looking everywhere but at Nagi directly. Finally she looked at Farfie because…well, she was looking around and was bound to get to Farfie.

"DO I MAKE YOU HORNY!?"

Kitty blinked blankly. "What's he high on?"

"Nothing," Nagi grumbled. "Trust me, this is one of his more lucid moments."

Another knock.

Schuldich groaned. They just could not leave him ALONE.

Then again, he kinda enjoyed all the attention. XD

"Schuldie-chan! Lets play!" bounced in a merry voice.

Oh nonononononono. The telepath was not ready for an Irish psychopath being thrown his way.

Literally. Thrown. His. Way.

"I'M GOING TO BURY YOU ALIVE NAGI!" Schuldich screeched as he found Farfie levitated into his stomach.

Nagi shrugged. He heard worse.

Kitty winced as she watched both Farfie and Schuldich fall backwards. Normally, she would enjoy this yaoi action, but that just looked painful. Though no one would believe her back where she came from, she was not into S&M.

Farfie licked his lips as he climbed on top of Schuldich.

"Oh, so are you going to fuck me in front of all these people?" Schuldich asked flatly. He really wasn't in the mood. Still mourning over Crawford. The telepath wanted to kill himself for admitting to it, but he really did MISS the blasted oracle.

The Irish psychopath straddled the telepath, but instead of giving Schuldich a blow job, Farfie then proceeded to recite mission plans in a tone that sounded like it belonged in a porn movie.

"…" was Schuldich's response.

"Well?" Farfie asked, leaning in close.

"Bite me," Schuldich whispered.

"Yesssssssss," came from Kitty, who watched with eager eyes.

"You're one of those yaoi fans, aren't you?" Nagi asked Kitty in a wry tone.

The girl just simply covered Nagi's eyes.

However, the disappointment. Farfie just simply drew away from Schuldich, got off of the German, and walked towards the door, whistling to himself.

Kitty grumbled something about not being fair.

"Are you coming along?"

"Yeah, I'm coming."

Silence.  
"SCHULDICH!!!!!!!!!!" Nagi screeched as the visions the telepath placed in his mind ran wild.

"Where are you going to stay?"

Once again, Crawford nearly had a heart attack. Looking back, he saw the golden eyed man.

WHAT THE HELL?!

Out of the corner of his eyes, the oracle thought that he saw a shadow move. But he didn't take his eyes off this newcomer.

Crawford was an A class assassin. Yet, he didn't hear his man sneak up. It was as if he moved like a shadow.

"Who are you?" Crawford snarled. The sun was setting. Crawford had decided that he might as well find a hotel or something to check in for the night.

"Daniel."

Crawford waited for a last name. He got none.

"Why are you following me?" his tone had lost all the previous anger, but still contained pure venom.

"I'm looking for my sister."

"What makes you think I've seen some gold eyed girl running around?"

"She doesn't look much like me. She's not blood related," Dan explained.

There was silence. Whirling around, Crawford thought that he saw another shadow move.

"She's been missing for several weeks now."

"What makes you think I have her?" Crawford asked with that deadly calm, regaining his posture. He glared at the man.

Dan shrugged. "A feeling. She has…she has eyes of chaos. Now do you know her?"

Blood drained from Crawford's face.

"Ah, so I was right," Dan said. His face now lost that infuriating smile. "Now, one more thing. Have you heard of a man named Beleth?"

"What are those gloves for?" Schuldich asked as he watched Kitty put them on.

The Schwarz members were getting ready. Aka, Nagi was stiffly sitting on the couch, still traumatized from before, Farfie was cursing at God, and Schuldich was lying lazily on his back on another couch.

"Why don't you just read my mind?" Kitty asked coldly.

"I liked you better as a kid."

"Me too."

There was a bit of a pause.

"You use the wire like Balinese?"

Kitty glanced up, an unreadable expression written across her face.

"Oh, my bad," Schuldich said. "You don't know Balinese."

"No…no," Kitty mumbled. "I don't use the wire like…like…Balinese."

Schuldich frowned.

Right? She didn't know Weiss…right?

The clock struck one. Looked like Crawford wasn't coming along.

It was a last minute notification. Omi scrolled down the screen. "Yo, Ken, take a look," he called over his shoulder. Ken was the only one in the flower shop. Youji and Aya were out…Omi had no clue where they were.

The former J-league player peered at the computer screen. "He seems rather young to be running a company."

"He's known as Beleth," Omi answered. "They think that he's been the one behind recent murders."

"Meaning he's the one who's been hole-punching people."

Recently, there had been several cases reported where people had string strung through their veins and bodies like puppets. It was a sickening thought.

Omi nodded.

Ken looked like he was about to hurl. 'I'll try and contact Youji and Aya. These people are twisted."


End file.
